5 WAYS TO TRANSFORM YOUR CONVERSATIONS
How active listening can deepen every relationship
Have you ever felt like you’re not connecting with someone? It might not be what you’re saying but how you’re listening.
Below are 5 ways that myself and some of my clients have found to be successful in our everyday conversations:
1. The power of silence
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but in order to listen well, you have to be…shhhh….silent.
It can feel a little awkward at first, but taking a pause before speaking can give the person you’re speaking with the space to fully express themselves. It can also show respect and patience, which could encourage them to open up more.
This also gives you a moment to gather your thoughts.
2. Show that you’re listening with nonverbal cues
What you say is only part of the equation – less than half, to be exact!
Your body language speaks volumes. I won’t dive in too deep here (because we’ve got a whole post coming up on it). Remember that your body language – eye contact, nodding, leaning in – can reinforce that you’re listening.
Stay tuned for more on this topic!
3. Reflect……and then paraphrase
Reflecting and paraphrasing can take your listening skills to the next level.
It can be as simple as, “So, you’re saying that…” or “What I’m hearing is…is that right?” This can make sure that you do, in fact, understand what they’re saying but also shows them that you understand them or gives them the opportunity to clarify things.
This is huge in nipping misunderstandings in the bud!
4. Ask open-ended questions
Closed-ended questions could get you a “yes” or “no” answer, but an open-ended question could get you deeper answer into thoughts and feelings.
Ask questions starting with “How,” “What,” or “Why.” For instance, “How did that make you feel?” rather than “Does that make you feel good?”
This opens the door to richer conversations and deeper understanding.
5. Avoid interrupting
I know I’ve been there – eager to share my thoughts or advice before the other person tells me the whole story or even finishes speaking! (It’s not just me, right?)
But here’s the thing: if you interrupt, you can make the other person feel undervalued. Be patient. Let the other person finish their thought.
This will help you build trust and shows respect.
Changing your conversations and your relationships starts with changing how you listen. Start practicing these tips with your partner, friend or colleague! But don’t keep these insights to yourself.
If you found any of this interesting, pass along this post with someone you want to connect with on a deeper level!